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Another New Normal

After a long recovery from his hip replacement surgery in May we were settling into our new normal.  This included 3 days a week home health aid to assist with showering and dressing and give me a chance to go to the store and run errands.  We were getting ready for a week of respite care for my husband at the VA and I was going to have a weeks vacation, time home alone to myself and a short trip away for 2 nights with my sister.  But the week before we were to go our washing machine broke.  So in order to get the laundry washed and get him packed for his week of respite I had to take the laundry out to be done, while I did this I left him home alone.  He was alone for 30-40 minutes while I ran the laundry to my mom’s and to a friends and loaded up their washers.  But while I was gone he fell again and broke the other hip.  So respite care became acute care for fractured pelvis.  And life has once again become hell.

In the meantime we came to realize our house was NOT going to sell unless we were willing to lose $30-40K in equity.  We are NOT, we CANNOT.  So, we took the house off the market and started the process to use our adaptive housing grant here in NY.  We need an accessible bathroom months ago and waiting years to sell or losing our shirts was no longer an option.  So sadly I have given up on my dream of living in Florida, near the beach, where it is warm, where my bones don’t hurt.  I am excited about the addition we are adding, a new massive master suite will be added to our home with a walk in closet (a dream) and in the HUGE bathroom a large, deep soaking tub for me.  We will have room for a King size bed and lots of room to get around in his power wheelchair once the doors are widened and the hallway widened as well.  It’s going to be a messy and annoying project, massive BUT in the end so worth it.

And as we settle into this new normal, he fights me all the time on safety issues.  Last week I had to change the doorknob going into the basement and add a keyed lock to it because he insists he is fine to walk down there. I fight with never leaving him alone.  I have to find friends to sit with him to get out for work 1 night a week.  I am thankful the VA pays for 10 hours of home health aid’s for him each week but they are in the AM and no help with work.

Life goes on.  Depression always looming, staring me in the face, keeping me awake at night, making me fall asleep during the day.  The constant struggle between what he wants to do and what is safe (he tells me at least once a week to give me his keys). Just sad to have to give up on one more dream but also glad to be staying where we have amazing friends and my family all around us.

Just taking time to adjust to this new normal, again.  MS is a cruel, cruel disease.

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Posted by on January 10, 2017 in Daily Living, Uncategorized