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Striking a balance

30 Sep

These days I am feeling more like his mother than his wife.  I have to tell him to eat, serve him every meal.  I have to do 2–3 loads of laundry daily.  I have to remind him to use his walker, over and over and over.  I have to help him shower and dress.  I have to put my foot down when he is being ridiculously stubborn.  I feel like I am chastising too much and yet these things are essential to his health and well being.

I am trying to find the balance, to speak kindly, to keep him in the loop on all that is going on with the doctors and appointments and assistance that I am requesting.  I try to carry on like it is a discussion even though he cannot keep up his end and I know he won’t remember.  I try to make him feel part of the decisions.  I try to remember to be his wife and not his mother.

It is very hard sometimes.

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3 Comments

Posted by on September 30, 2014 in Cognitive Loss, Daily Living

 

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3 responses to “Striking a balance

  1. Marilynn

    September 30, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    should very familar to me, it seems it never ends, my husband does the same but is stubborn and I just can’t agrue anymore. I just say whatever. I know it sounds terrible but sometimes it just isin”t worth the effort. Soometimes my peace of mind is more important, but something goes wrong and as usual I have to fix it. As I sit here in the emergency room at the VA AGAIN. I’m just so tired all the time but the some reason we just keep doing this. I wonder sometime why I stay…

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  2. Marilynn

    September 30, 2014 at 7:51 pm

    and this shoud make you laugh, my husband does not walk, he lost the use of his legs five years ago, he can’t see two feet in front of him and I know he needs a hearing aid. The biggest fight we have is when he wants to take his motoried wheelchair and go for a walk And he wants to go byself .Oh year it’s 95 degrees outside in florida. So He goes and what does he do , he runs into a tree, then came home full of leaves and say I fell asleep while driving. OK, so know you know why I don’t fight him anymore. Oh yea and he tells everyone their nothing wrong with him.

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  3. marriedmonster

    October 1, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    My husband ran into a tree with his wheelchair once too, although he had been indulging in things he should not so wasn’t totally due to MS. But today he ran into a glass door (thank god it did not break) and that was due to the MS. About to take away his motorized chair because he cannot safely operate it. 😦

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