I was clueless.
My husband was diagnosed with MS 6 months before we met. He told me about it before we even went on our first date. I thought I knew what I was in for. I had several friends who had parents with MS and thought I knew what the disease might entail. MS was a physical disease, it affected muscle control and made someone tire more easily. I could handle that. No problem. By the time I realized just how much MORE MS could be I was emotionally invested and not getting out without major pain. I still had no idea of the cognitive impairment possible or the severity until 7 years into my marriage when my world just fell apart at the seams.
Since 2007 I have delved into a world of confusion, lies, deceit, dementia, impulsivity, disinhibition, lability, depression, anxiety, occasional violent behaviors. Let me tell you had someone given me a preview of coming attractions when my future husband mentioned he had MS I may have skipped that first date and have had a whole different life.
But there is a reason we don’t know our future, most of us would run screaming for the door. And given my upbringing, and my personal belief system I will not run screaming now. I’m in this for the duration, “til death do us part” if you will.
What I hope to do with this blog is be honest, what life can be like when living with someone with MS who is on the entire other end of the spectrum from those I knew 17 years ago when I decided it was okay to date someone with MS. I don’t want to scare people away from potentially wonderful relationships, but I do wish I’d known all the possibilities back then, perhaps being 27 and optimistic I may have taken the same chance and knowing myself I probably would have.
In the beginning I was naive.